oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Watching her eat just hurts me
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
