i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
