I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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