Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
