Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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