Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
So squirting runs in the family.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
