I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
