I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
