I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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