What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
