We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
