so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I need to calm my uterus...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
