I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
