I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize