I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She tied me up with her honor cords...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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