I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You don't make any sense
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