I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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