i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
