I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
