I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
