he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
