I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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