I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
