ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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