Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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