I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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