Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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