Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
