I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
