There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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