i don't like sucking hair
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
