She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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