My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
