I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
