Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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