i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
