I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize