i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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