But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize