I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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