Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
