It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
