Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
we're making bets on your personal life
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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