I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
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