Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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