If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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