Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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