I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
