Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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