I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
