he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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