Im at strip club and am horny
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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