Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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