We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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