So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
