So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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