return my video game
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just invented taco cereal.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
