3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
